balsamandash: (* people are complicated!)
Yeah, I'm still behind. *facepalms* I'm working on it? Anyway.

Day 13: In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

I've been meaning to do this for myself, but it's really hard, not to come up with goals but to keep them reasonable. I end up wanting to cram every tiny thing I'd want to do in the next year onto the list, and... I don't know, maybe if my circumstances and mental health could stay in an ideal place, that'd actually work, but they don't, and it just screws me, because it feels so impossible to succeed that there's no point in starting.

So, let me try to make this without going overboard.

Goals? )
balsamandash: (mcu] my money's on you)
So for those of you unaware, I have a "writing babbles" filter.

I am going to repurpose into a general creativity lists-and-babbles-and-in-progress filter, because I have lists to make.

If you are on it and not interested, let me know and I'll take you off! If you're interested and aren't on it, let me know and I'll put you on!

(If you're trying to figure that out, here's some of the things in my head, if I don't drop the ball on the lists and things I'm thinking of right now: A list of fanfics on my to-write-list, a shortlist of podfics, a desire-to-vid list, notes on various original verses [and hopefully ongoing ones as I worldbuild and rework], possibly more indepth notes on some fanfic stuff, first passes at Lupercalia fic if I can get myself to write them this year.)
balsamandash: Abigail Hobbs (Hannibal) from nose to sternum, twisting her fingers together nervously (han] what a year and what a night)
Day 03
In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


And I've been kind of meaning to think about goals all week, so uh. Let's see. Where to start.

Goals for 2017. )

to-do list

Sep. 2nd, 2016 08:51 am
balsamandash: Peggy Carter (Agent Carter) running in profile (mcu] a moving target's hard to hit)
Because I am basically trying every possible method of motivation I can possibly find.

To-Dos for Today + Tomorrow )
balsamandash: James Watson (Sanctuary) with his support machine exposed, fiddling with it (san] what is it that runs through you?)
I am still alive and 80% stable. I have many lists to make. Many many lists. Here starts lists. More lists may happen later.

To do list. )
balsamandash: River Tam (Firefly) laying on the ground and looking up (ff] ghosts & clouds & nameless things)
There was a tiny problem to work around, because nobody informed me that you need an actual letter, but my two weeks have officially begun. My last night of work is Friday, May 20th. And then I'm done. No more Walmart for me. Ever.

(And I mean it. Fucking ever. I will work retail and stocking and jobs that hurt me physically again if I need it. But I am done with Walmart. My store is a mess of communication problems, awful management, and impossible demands -- and we are one of the consistently highest-rated stores in our entire state. I am not dealing with a version of that that probably has its shit together even less.)

Anyway, if anyone's curious/for my own benefit/for people to poke me into sticking to, this is what the next month or so looks like:

Schedule )

At some point there's a couple of other lists I'd like to make, but they are more abstract than this, and I am thinking about them. Soon, though.

I am still a little terrified, but I am starting to get excited, too. I'm beyond ready to be on to a new phase. It's long overdue.


And on an unrelated note, writing is difficult, and I'm pretty sure most creativity (and... general life things that are not either impossibly to avoid or coming really easy for the moment) is on pause til the move is done, but I'd like to do something vaguely creative, so have a meme. Yes I know I suck at memes, but I will eventually go back and respond to others, and for now:

Leave me a character, get three headcanons about them. Fandom or original. (Bonus round: Leave a character and either a topic or an AU setting [whether it's one I already play around with or not], get three headcanons on that topic/in that setting. Otherwise you get random things that come to mind.)
balsamandash: (s] on a strange incline)
DAY OFF DAY OFF DAY OFF. *victory dances*

Things I need to do with DAY OFF DAY OFF DAY OFF:
- Cover letter + finish resume
- Acquire mother's gifts
- Cut my damn nails

Things I will probably do:
- Dinner with friends

Things I would like to do to fill the rest of the time:
- Relearn how to vid and start working on Vid of Pain
- Watch Jessica Jones, possibly while playing Portal/Kongregate
- Watch other things (Netflix/Amazon/offline media)
- Watch things (online media)
- Go back to playing Sunless Sea, or else something that is heavily about getting through a story beginning to end -- Gone Home, maybe
- WRITE.
- Acquire gifts for other people who are sadly going to get late holiday gifts
- Write up a wishlist because fuck it why not
- Research some stuff about gods/pantheons
- Tags
- Listen to a lot of musicals start to end

Obviously, all these things are not getting done and I need to drastically cut down my 'would like' list. I can move some of it to Wednesday but I know myself, and all this is definitely not happening. Oh well.
balsamandash: Sally and Gillian Owens (Practical Magic) lying on the floor, separated from each other (> distance between)
TDL, take two, because I crashed super hard Monday. I... still haven't recovered, but I don't really have a choice but to do stuff today, so.

To-do list )



Other than that I got nothing. I'm alive.
balsamandash: (Default)
My weekends are split for the next two weeks. This is my super excited voice, can't you hear it.

I'm so not looking forward to the rest of this... year, let's be honest.

Weekend TDL in progress. Early, but I'd like to have it ironed out by Monday anyway. )
balsamandash: (hp] build and teach)
HELLO READING LIST I AM OFF TONIGHT SO FUCK IT, HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME.

I am also kind of manic. Blame work.

It is kind of my Halloween & Samhain tonight anyway; I am sleeping at some point, and then going to my parents, and there will be carving pumpkins, baking, possibly some small ancestor work or charging work, and our usual gamut of favorite Halloween movies (or at least Midnight Hour and Practical Magic). And then tomorrow I get trick-or-treating and beef stew before work so. Holiday is not a total wash. It is nice.


To-Do List for tonight, because being productive would be nice:
TDL! )
balsamandash: (> together (Natasha & Pepper))
I read, family'd, and then slept through day one of my two days off. Whoops. Now it's 9 am, I am a T-minus 25 hours till I have to go back to bed for Wednesday work, and it is time to do things. Things that are not making rainbowfic prompt lists cause that's definitely the only thing I did in the last three-ish hours.

general week to-do:
  • Pay hospital + physicians for the month.

  • Figure out what I am indulging myself in bookbuying wise. (Pocket Apocalypse is almost a definite even if I don't have a clear enough head to really get into it right now; Violet and Claire, I Was a Teenage Fairy, and Boy Meets Boy are all contenders for #2.)

  • Talk to my mother about moving and haircuts.

  • Job applications.

  • Start project 'Catch Up on Night Vale Before Live Show'.


Worldbuilding Priorities )

Writing )
balsamandash: (s] some ghost of me would be here)
I think I am going to try and start doing this once a week or so, because that's not quite enough time for me to forget what I was trying to work on. This way I at least have a record of things that have been passing through my brain, and can go back later and mine them for things I still want to do.

So, current list, in a very very rough order:

Worldbuilding
  • Come Stand Be Me: Major players in the traditional magic community and in the younger magical community.

  • Sentient Magic: Find and revise the list of how magic manifests and start working on characters.

  • Angelic Tribes: Writing up descriptions of each of the seven tribes.

  • This City's Got Grace: Writing up a list of my kids for attempts at mapping out who knows who.


Writing
  • No Child is Spared: Finish the '3 times Dave stubborned himself right into a hospital' fic.

  • This City's Got Grace: Backstory fic for Jordan.

  • Rainbowfic: Try and do my three by the 15th because it'd be nice to not fail such a low goal.

  • Fanfic: MCU: The one where I rip off Memento's structure and Steve is dreaming of parallel universes in the ice.

  • Fanfic: MCU: Jane and Steve roleswap fic.

  • Fanfic: MCU: Continue 'Lay Me In the House You're Building'.
balsamandash: picture from Hyperbole and a Half, text: "my fish are dead" (haah] my fish are dead)
I am at bus stops/on busses til at least 930. I get up at 330 and leave again around 5. Fuck. Everything.

Misc to do list:
- Sunday: Get bus money out
- Monday: M: Call hospital
- Monday: ?: Taxes
- Monday: N: Talk to mom
- At Bast's: Alter music player
- Next week: Find tarot decks, draft post, start transfer process + job hunt, cry a lot
- Sunday next: Transfer back to parents

And in general: Stop getting pissed off that I'm paying more than a months worth of paychecks for someone to shine a light in my ears. Cause I am either gonna cry or get really pissed if I don't.
balsamandash: (film] only see what i'm looking through)
Called for pizza ten minutes after waking up and flubbed three different things in the call. I am trying so hard not to let it drag me down into a hard spiral and not sure I'm going to succeed.

Stuff to do tonight, cause I fucking sucked last night:

to-do )
balsamandash: Peggy Carter (Agent Carter) running in profile (mcu] a moving target's hard to hit)
I now have an eternally open prompt post. Mostly for [profile] thebonesofferalletters to use, cause that's what we do, but anyone else is welcome.

tonight to-do:

to-do )

done )
balsamandash: Gillian Owens (Practical Magic) looking down, seeming upset (pm] she'll hang on like hell)
January goals: I accomplished none of them. I was functionally useless all month, so that should come as no surprise. But.

February Goals
1. Talk to my mother about moving and continue taking steps towards moving afterwards.
2. Acquire either a chewing necklace or a spinning ring, see if that helps at all at work.
3. Collect numbers from people.
4. Finish reading Blood of Olympus.
5. For the love of god, write SOMETHING.

I should add much, much more to that list. But let's be honest, this list is probably going to get failed too, so why add more conditions for sucking.

I am very tired. And very sorry. And going to go try to shut up again.
balsamandash: (news] we've counted the cost)
I keep trying to find the ability to be productive and my brain is just a melted pile of fuck you, no. So. Yeah. I'm sure fucking useful today.

Week to-do/notes, may be updated today/over the next couple of days

under here )
balsamandash: (Default)
Thing the first: Me on twitter is a thing that exists now. Not sure how active I'm going to be, but I am [twitter.com profile] darkofthestory if anyone wants to follow me over there.

Thing the second: Have updated the about post and the fandoms post, and linked the later on the former.

Thing the third: To-do for between now and going back to work Thursday, not remotely in order.

to-do )

done )
balsamandash: (miniature disasters & minor catastrophes)
I called off from work because massive anxiety brainwaves/depression spiral. Now it's 430 and i've spent the last nearly-eight hours on tvtropes, tumblr, and musicals on youtube. I'm not better really, but I'm not worse and work would have made me worse. So I guess it's a win.

to-do, or at least to-try, list for the rest of the night:
- Clear out and respond to comments and email from the past week.
- Start making lists of old character I want to transplant and maybe verses they could fit/roles they could inhabit there.


been done:
- tested wireless headphones. they're great and i love them. downside? i don't have bluetooth on my laptop, apparently. whoops. i can use them with my phone, though.
- found my ball. and my gummy dragon. and the walmart discount card i thought i had lost, whoops.
- happy shows to my brain and futzing around with puzzley phone games to figure out which ones to keep. because, as i am going to try and keep telling myself, it is ok to take recovery time when life has been wall-to-wall anxiety and depression spells, and good tv + zoney games are as close to a happy place as i have access to right now.
- tv + breakfast. well, i am in the middle of breakfast now. but it's happening.
- switched houses, brought theater clothes, though i may steal my brother's shirt, because all my good clothes lean femme and i'm really not in that mood right now.
- memes posted
- moooost comments replied to, if not all. still need to get to email.

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