(no subject)

[balsamandash]

The fish are dead. The fish are super dead and I still need to find a way to bring up the subject of moving to my mother, now in full awareness that she hates the idea, thinks it's screwing up, and thinks I should settle in at my grandmother's indefinately.

The fish are fucking skeletons, the spoons are entirely gone, my head is splitting and I don't know what to do with anything and I still have to present as a rational, sane creature to everyone around me for the undefinable future.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

*hugs?*

[balsamandash]

*all the hugs* Thank you. <333

[rootsofthestories]

I love you and I am sorry your mother is...your mother.

[balsamandash]

I love you too. I'm sorry I'm doing this, I'm really sorry to do this at you when you were having a good day, and i'm just... sorry. About everything.

[teaotter]

It sounds like your mother is likely to make this harder on you, and I'm sorry if that's the case. Making change is hard enough on its own.

[balsamandash]

Thank you. <333 My mother's... something. She has points about my lack of financial stability, but my emotional stability kind of needs me to get out of here. Unfortunately, she doesn't know this, since I've taken great pains to hide at least 75% of it from her over the years... largely because of the family issues that make staying here so bad for my emotional stability.

... it's all a hell of a clusterfuck and I am not a brave enough person to just say it and deal.

[bookblather]

I'm so sorry your fish are dead. *hugs*