balsamandash | (no subject)

I have no costume even though work allows us to wear costumes, because I just don't have the fucking energy to figure one out; I may or may not even get my beef stew in lieu of an actual Samhain celebration, because I just don't have the fucking energy to go to my family's and not break down crying when I have to leave; and I'm pretty much skipping NaNo entirely for the first time in eleven years, because I don't have the fucking energy to write no matter how much skipping it makes me want to be sick.

Happy fucking holiday, can it please be over already so I can stop thinking about how much this year's sucks and maybe don't start screaming at work?

EDIT: Someone please remind me that not doing NaNo is the smart, rational, adult thing to do this year, and trying to cram planning into it in the rest of this day, half of which I have to sleep during, is a stupid, ridiculous idea. Because yes, the sheer fact that I am skipping all of this is possibly going to make me cry for the next week ro two, but I'm pretty sure trying will give me a nervous breakdown, so I should really, really not try.

I just. Really hate that I'm not doing. Oh god do I hate that I'm not doing it. And maybe if I was doing the holiday or at least a fucking costume I could balance that out, but right now I just... hate everything, so, so much..

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DO you want to plan the cupcake novel while we are awake? I don't mind and I totally planned to work on it anyway, so it's not adding to my pile.

I'm going to shower and go to bed in five minutes. and I don't think I have it in me to do anything with words.

hugs Okay. I love you.

Not doing NaNo is the rational adult thing to do this year, yes. *hugs*

*hugs and <3s* Yeaaaah, I'm trying to remind myself. Especially now that I'm home.

I may try and set some kind of writing goal for the month, or maybe through year's end, to try and make up for it.

We can both be not-holidaying together. And not-NaNoing as well - mental health comes first, even if real life impedes porn.

I ended up doing a little holidaying, which is nice, even if it wasn't all that I'd liked. We can sit in the no-no-NaNo corner together this month and cheer everyone else on?

Yay for holiday. Let's toss on the pom-poms and cheer the ficcers.