there's a chaos that reigns at the heart of this beast

[balsamandash]

More lists. Lists are good. Lists are useful. I need to stop immediately brainresonating to "dear [x], here is a list of things" every time I go to start one. But lists are good.

• names
  
• adding on to mine. i feel like i want more to it. there's a middle name i have an eye on because i'm fond of one of the diminuitives and don't hate the sound of the full thing, i just... feel silly using it and can't tell you why.


• writing pseudonyms. i still don't mind Morgan Byrne, i just... don't know. for that matter i still like The Witchy Wordsmith as a... not penname but a writerly identity? but doing things with it is hard.


• religion
  
• how to start looking for a fitting pantheon/patron


• if i want to make an altar when i move. how, where, and what i would do with it.


• learning to meditate or finding a replacement for it as a practice.


• working with connections.


• rediscovering tarot.


• kink
  
• whether this wanting of things is a general restlessness trying to find a home or an actual desire.


• people
  
• how to learn to talk to them when i want to


• self-care
  
• mental health diary. physical health diary.


• scents to ground with. routines to ground with. how to make them.


• things that comfort even when hurting. things that make me laugh even when sad.


• "it is useful knowledge for living to have a list of things that are good no matter what."


• ways to remind myself i am worth self-care when i don't feel like i deserve it.