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Mar. 19th, 2015 07:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
balsamandashSupernatural/Fantasy
ghost + ghost hunter au
ghost/reincarnated lover au
at zombie camp when the zombie apocalypse happens so we are actually prepared au
being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU
you’re a college professor on folklore and i’m an obscure magical creature AU
I bought this talisman from your occult shop and I know you warned me but I didn’t think this stuff was real but it IS and now I need you to make it go away AU/
you’re a devil and i’m an angel AU
you’re a fictional character that came from a dystopia novel au
you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au
you’re an immortal who keeps making history and guess what my best subject is au
nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
they captured you and put me in your room because i can suppress other people’s powers so you hate me but i’m lonely and bored and want to talk to you AU
sentient robot/ awkward mechanic au
“I’m sorry I’m a Sphinx so all my answers to questions are in the form of riddles.”
“My dragon friend/lover is sick and every time they sneeze they burn something so I have to sit next to them with a fire extinguisher”
“So you’re the water spirit who lives above me and is constantly dripping water onto my bed!”
'did you seriously just fuck around with dark magic and then come to me for help' au
'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it's haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?' au
'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I'm freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don't get a lot of time together but fuck no please don't leave me not yet no.’ au
'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can't believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.' au
"Found a weird stick. Turns out it’s a wand.I’ve accidentally turned myself into a cat and you’re a wizard school dropout who has no idea how to fix this." AU
"I think I just saw a ghost but I’m not sure, it could’ve been my reflection, but I feel utterly disturbed and suddenly the doorbell rings and you deliver the pizza I forgot I ordered half an hour ago."
"I thought you were a ghost for the past 4 months." AU
"I’m home alone in my apartment and hear something that creeps me out. Before my panic can get out of hand I decide to knock on the neighbour’s door. You open up and look at me wide-eyed, asking if I heard it too."
"You rubbed my lamp, I am your genie but I kinda suck at using my magic so bear with me here" AU
“Found an Ouija board and started accidently talking with my hot/cute ghost neighbor.”
“I accidently spilled my fairy dust on your cat and it flew out the window please don’t hate me.”
“I don’t care that you’re a nature spirit this greenery you subconsciously grow is getting out of hand!”
“When I find the fucker switching out my water with holy water I’m kicking their ass to hell and back”
“You’re a werecat and I’m a werewolf but we both really like each other”
A and B are changelings (each replaced the other). In the process of tracing back where they came from as adults, they find each other.
A died a year ago. Determined to haunt the one that killed them, they fought their way back to the house where they used to live as a ghost- only to find that their murderer is gone. B is the new tenant.
A is a dryad attached to the tree that stands in the yard of the house that B grew up in.
A needs to summon a powerful and dangerous demon (or equivalent being). However, just as they are saying the last of the incantation, they cough on the smoke in the room, and mispronounce the name. B appears before them instead.
something happens and we somehow land in a universe where we’re married and have children. only that it isn’t a different universe, it was just our future together and it’s .. amazing au.
sometimes i wished i wasn’t a superhero because you’re starting to ask questions that i can’t answer and i’m afraid that it’s just a matter of time before you leave me..and to be honest, i’m starting to feel that you deserve better au.
that witch hexing me into narrating my ever action was supposed to suck but you kinda like it when we have sex au.
superhero school au
mermaid/merman and a person who loves the ocean but can’t swim au
i know it’s the apocalypse but please can we keep this stray dog AU
Single Parent
'I don't like you and you don't like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we've got to act civil and end up falling for each other' au
'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.' au
"our kindergartners think they’re dating so hey there" au
"We’re both single parents and our kids hate each other" AU
"you’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and i fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though i didn’t need it"
"your child got lost and i found them" au
our kids got paired up to do a school project and I meant to just drop mine off at your house but we ended up talking for three hours AU
Soulmate
'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don't end up being the same person. And that's something I had to learn the hard way.' Au
the one where only your soulmate can kill you (can you still be killed by age/disease? who knows!)
the one where the closer you are to them the more aware of them you become, and you find them playing a hot/cold game; for instance, colors get brighter and brighter the closer you are and fade into gray when they’re too far away
the one where the first thing they say to you appears instead
the one where you can straight up talk to them in dreams until/after you find them
the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you touch them
the one where you don’y know your soulmate until you hear them speak, or hear them speak a certain word; your name, for example
the one where you form a telepathic/empathetic link until/after you find them
the one where you get each others’ fingerprints
the one where you get matching marks/symbols/tattoos
the one where you get the name of the person in their handwriting on your body somewhere at a certain age
the one where you only see color once you meet your soulmate (so you don’t know them until you see them), and it goes away when they die
the one where you share extreme physical sensation until/after you find them; if one of you hurts the other one hurts, if one of you is getting lucky the other one gets a little hot and bothered
the one where your marks or words that change depending on what’s going on with your soulmate
the one with the clock that counts down the time until you meet your soulmate
one of those predetermined soulmates au, except i found out we’re supposed to be soulmates and no??????? how could it be you, i hate you au
so apparently my history professor is my soulmate since he just introduced himself with my voice and now he’s asking everyone to say their name one at a time, waiting to hear his own voice au.
School
'for some reason our teacher thought it'd be amazing to go on a field trip and after she went to sleep some jock thought it'd be even more amazing to play truth or dare and now my best friend betrayed me and dared me to make out with you, the person i've been lowkey in love with for a year' au
'I'm hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
'i'm in the library researching for this giant assignment that's 90% of my grade i haven't slept or gotten anything beside coffee in two days i am going to explode in rage if you don't shut the fuck up this SECOND' au
'I'm sitting in on your classes because I want to be a teacher but you realize we live in the same apartment complex and I'm the asshole that plays video games on max volume at one in the morning next door so it's weird' AU
‘we are the only two students in this course for this language but the teacher says it’s okay since we can practice conversation together, help me with pronunciation?’ au
‘we share a class at university and you forgot your notebook under your desk but luckily your phone’s written inside. Ps: your doodles are pretty cool’ au
"Apparently all of our teachers are shipping us because they keep assigning us as partners, so do you wanna, I don’t know, hang out some time?"
"everyone has to take this really hard drawing class freshman year but both of us are photo majors who can’t draw" au
"everyone’s dorm room has a whiteboard wall outside of it and you keep drawing exceptionally rendered dicks on mine" au
"help me come up with a bullshit deeper meaning for this painting because I have nothing and my professor will slam me in critique unless I don’t explain it" au
"hey hey its alumni weekend and everyone else has become freakishly successful after graduation, the fuck."
"hey this is awkward but can you be my nude model for my homework it’s an emergency" au
"I always sleep in too late and have to run to class, and apparently you do too, because we keep, literally, running in to each other, and we really need to stop meeting like this."
"i have a term paper due tomorrow and yours is the only 24 hour cafe with internet."
"i have the keys to the roof of the chem building and you need somewhere to smoke."
"I know we only have like two classes together and barely know each other, but the water’s out on the entire campus, except for this single building, and you’re the only one I know who lives here, so may I borrow your shower?"
"i literally only joined this org because the person handing out fliers was cute, wtf do we even do here?"
"I stress bake at 3am all through finals week, and you got a sweet tooth and are staying up all night anyway, so why won’t you help me eat it?"
"I’m an art student and you’re not just my friend, you’re my favorite model for my pieces, and we’re both waiting for nude modeling to be on the table but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask" AU
"I’m sorry for accidentally creeping you out, one of my professors made me go people watching at the park/mall/etc. so I can write an ethnography and I swear I wasn’t following you on purpose" AU
"its my senior year, and ive created a bucket list of things i want to do before i graduate - one of those things happens to be you."
"let’s go out and do ridiculous shit in public for our performance art class" au
"only students to get detention on the first day of school" au
"oops i accidentally slept with my ta.”
"our mutual friend is in the film directing program at art school/our uni’s art department and they suckered us into being in their shitty low-budget overly pretentious horror flick" AU
"We started this study group because we actually need to study, but now our companions are starting to get suspicious, because we are setting up meetings like every day but somehow we are both getting less and less studying done."
"we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
"were in the same orientation group and we might never see each other again but i still want to do this."
"you moved into my class and you have the same name as a character in the book we’re studying" au
"you overheard me talking smack your piece in the student art show and now you’re defending your artistic choices to me and wow that’s actually a really cool concept" au
"You think you’re the best [something] on campus, well come at me bruh.”
"you work for the campus radio station and keep passively aggressively dedicating songs to me"
"You wouldn’t let me use the library copying machine in peace and somehow our quarreling broke it, so partners in crime?”
your dad’s the teacher and i have to submit a late assignment by delivering it to his house au.
"i work nights and you have an 8am class, so we always end up running into each other at the campus coffee shop."
"Something in my dorm broke and the landlord is trying to fix it, but I have to move temporarily, and you’re the only one on this floor who doesn’t smoke or have scientific epiphanies in the middle of the night, so can I crash at your place for an unknown time?”
hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
Jobs
“I cut your hair every other week and you vent to me because your significant other doesn’t seem to care” au
“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
“I’m a florist and you put in a huge order so I think you’re getting married or need to apologize to someone, but it turns out that you just like flowers” au
“I’m a relatively new music artist and we ride the same bus and oh my goD ARE YOU LISTENING TO MY ALBUM” au
“I’m an author who just published my first book and you work at a bookstore and recommend my own book to me when I come in” au
"i’ve been breaking my phone on purpose just because you work at the help desk" AU
'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I'm always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I've never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we're actually dating shh]' au
'i called tech support bc netflix won't work and somehow ended up discussing this series for 15 minutes with you do you wanna hang out when your shift ends' au
'I keep purposefully buying the wrong shoe size so that the hot guy who works at the shoe store can keep measuring my feet over and over' AU
'i'm an ikea employee and every day for the last week i've had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter' au
'it's my turn to open up the cafe today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when i came in and i don't know what to say so i'm just sweeping awkwardly around you' au
'm scared of the dentist so i brought my best friend along for support but they've been flirting with the dentist for the past fifteen minutes and now i'm third wheeling at my own dentist appointment' au
'You passed out in Disneyland and I've been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??' 'Yes I'm okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?' 'I'm the face character for Peter Pan but that's not important' au
'you're a vet and i'm pleading with you to save my goldfish and you're the first vet i've visited to not ask me if i'm sure i don't want to go and buy another goldfish for three dollars' au
'you're lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i'm the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i'm really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much' au
'You're not a cop you just came from a costume party but I don't know that so when you're going to your room at 11 and night and I'm pacing the hall I stop you because I desperately need you to tell the couple next door to stop having sex so loudly because i can't' AU
'you're on the street corner handing out brochures for something i really honestly couldn't care less about but holy shit i want to run my fingers through your hair so i guess i could fake some interest' au
"constantly trying to one-up each other at our favorite coffee-shop’s every-other-weekly poetry slam" AU
"playing Beatrice and Benedick together in this community theatre production of Much Ado About Nothing, which is hilarious considering our offstage relationship" AU
“you’re a great tattoo artist and I want a tattoo but I’m afraid of needles” au
“you’re wearing the same color shirt as a store employee and I ask you if you could help me find something” au
your shitty record label needs you to get famous and has chosen my radio station to play your crappy song over and over again and/or I’m a lyricist and can help you get famous au
youre a famous rockstar and i snuck backstage just to meet you im your biggest fan (please autograph my arm so i can get it tattooed)
youre getting your first tattoo and im here to support/laugh at you (jesus christ quit squeezing my hand so hard)
Youtube/Vine/Vimeo/video-based social media celebrity AU
chef/ restaurant critic AU
co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
commiserating on a night shift at mcdonalds au
competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
con artists AU
forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
how the hell do i keep managing to get you as my cab driver au
"we’re the newest members of the local Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast and get told we have to play Brad and Janet this week/month at the last possible minute" AU
You work at the senior home my parents are staying at au
you write me a bad restaurant review and i force myself into your kitchen so i can cook you my food until you admit it’s good au
You’re a cop and I’m a reporter who needs a story somehow AU
You’re a hot firefighter and I might have pulled the fire alarm on purpose au
you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
you’re an actor in a haunted house and i accidentally punched you in the face when you scared me au
You’re the one person who can do my elaborate stage makeup so every night you spend half an hour in close proximity to my face and I am Distressed au
You’re the only major film critic who hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree with you AU
You’re the prosecutor and I’m the defense attorney on the most ridiculous case either of us have ever heard of and I don’t know about you but I’m not sure how much longer I can be serious about this thing AU
You’re the security guard who walks me out to my car every night after work AU
you’ve been selling flyers in front of our coffee shop for hours and you look kind of frozen and miserable so uh do you want a latte or something
You’ve come into my store every morning asking for ______, seriously what is up AU
auditioning for the same part AU
baking competition au
esteemed rival chefs find each other shamefully buying ramen at 3 in the morning AU
Graffiti artist/ mural painter AU
hey you, over there, what’s your name, i need one for the new character in this book i’m writing and i can’t think of one i like
I accidentally caught the neighbors’ yard(s) on fire while burning leaves and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and clearly thinks I’m an idiot AU
i accidentally feel asleep in the bookstore you work in cause i read so much au
i do stupid shit and you’re my doctor au
I heard you playing the piano late night at the bar I work at and can’t get your voice out of my head AU
Apartment
The only 2 people doing laundry at 2 am
"you can’t afford a game so you play the demo in the game shop" au
'Every night I go down to the lobby vending machines I smell the best cooking ever coming from your apartment and it's 12 pm but I'm really hungry and the vending machines aren't cutting it for me' AU
'Everyday I hear you curse at your computer next door lucky I can help you so I barge in and decide to put and end to this but I also see all the porn you watch' AU
All of our other neighbors are crazy so we bond over that fact that we’re the only normal people on the whole street AU
“My roommate is having a scientific epiphany right now, so can I crash at your place tonight?”
'I can't pass stray animals so once a week you see me going into my apartment with a different animal before I find them a home and you decide you want one' AU
'i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we're eighteen floors up' au
'I totally wasn't breaking into your apartment I locked myself out of mine and I'm directly above yours so I picked your lock and was gonna use the fire escape and climb in through my window' AU
'My roommate has a 'friend' over and I couldn't sleep in my apartment and you find me curled up with a pillow beside the lobby vending machines' AU
'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they're p hot but it's v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.' au
'Who keeps using my wifi?' 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.' au
'You see me climbing onto the ledge of my window on the forth floor and immediately go to stop me from doing something stupid but oops actually my internet company is messing up and this is the only place my wifi works i'm not afraid of heights do you need to lie down you look sick' AU
"Could you please move your bed a little further from the wall I’m trying to work" au
"I moved into the appartment next door and it’s 100% haunted please let me crash here for the night" au
"my roommate is doing push ups on the floor and i’m not sure whether to be turned on by their athletic powers or freaked out"
"No, we can not put that on our Christmas tree that is immoral” au
"Our Christmas tree caught on fire because you decided to tinker with the decorations. What the hell did you do to our poor lights?" au
"Our first Christmas sharing an apartment and we keep arguing over the decorations" au
"the obligatory my roommate is super cute and i’m crushing on them au."
"the obligatory my roommate is trash and leaves me locked out, but thankfully youre a decent person so i’m not alone"
"This is the tenth time this week we’ve had a fire alarm go of but uh… this time it was my fault" AU
"wait so you’re saying you still live in a college town even though you graduated years ago?"
3am and the fire alarm in our apartment complex just went off let me lend you my jacket while we wait on the sidewalk
"Quick! It’s an emergency! My train leaves in two hours and I accidentally played Mario Cart all day and forgot to wrap all of my Christmas gifts. And I know you got wrapping paper in here.”
Every time you cook you set off the smoke alarm so you know what I’m just going to teach you how to cook.
everyone else in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu, and I just heard you coughing pathetically from the next room, wanna share my stash of cough drops and marathon Netflix with me? AU
hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and— no no it’s fine I was just hoping maybe I could pet it? au
I keep walking in on you making out with my roommate and I’m uncomfortably into both of you au
Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU
"i left my window open and you heard me singing" au
you started banging at my door loudly at 3 am bc you got the wrong apartment and now i’m inviting you in for tea to bitch about the person you thought lived here
From Afar/Over Internet
Asked a random stranger for love advice AU
Accidentally called a phone sex line but you picked up and I didn’t recognize your voice AU
'i called one of the telephone numbers written in the toilet stall and now i want to fuck your voice' au
'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you're hot and I'm thirsty but now I've developed actual feelings for you bc you're a genuinely good person' au
'my parents are rly religious and forced me to this meeting i hate everything the entire world is against me what the actual fuck did a stranger just sent me nudes' au
'i'm rly hungover and i rly rly need some takeout right now but oh god i called the wrong number and your voice is rly attractive do you wanna come over with a pizza' au
‘i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now youre invested in my life troubles’ au
"I thought I could handle watching this horror movie on my own, but it turns out I really can’t and need someone to talk to, but my best friend is sleeping and you seemed friendly enough when you gave me your number yesterday."
'i can't cook for shit and my mother keeps telling me i'll never become anything if i can't even make a proper meal and i somehow stumbled upon your food blog and it has now saved me so many times i just wanted to let you know about my gratitude in this oddly long, ridiculously personal email' au
"your email address is one letter different from my friend’s so i keep emailing you by mistake" AU
“I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong number and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit you’re really attractive.” au.
i called the wrong number but we struck up a deep conversation au
'Shit I sent that I like you text to the wrong person and you said I like you too' AU
•soundcloud au
called the wrong number and confessed my love to you in a sappy way before you could get a word in au
Got into an absurdly heated argument in the comments on a mutual friend’s Facebook post AU
Transport
'i'm drunk on public transport and you're high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly' au
'um excuse me but would you mind turning down your music a little bit we're in a bus oh shit you're really cute' au
'Who knew this train ride was go/ing to turn into Murder on the Orient Express?’ AU (alternatively: who knew this plane ride was going to turn into Non-Stop?)
"i’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and im carrying you down a ladder as you compliment me on my muscles "
"we both missed the bus" au
Got on the wrong train, ended up in a town unknown, mind showing me around, attractive local? AU
I just quit my job and put all my belongings in a U-Haul and started driving, you’re the hitchhiker I picked up on a whim who I’m starting to think is a dangerous fugitive AU
Pretending
'I don't really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you've already turned him down, so I'll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend until they leave you alone.' au
'i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
'Okay okay okay I know we're just friends and I don't want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we're dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister's wedding as my plus one so my mom won't know I lied?' au
we hate each other but our parents are friends and set us up on a date and we’re messing with them so they’ll lay off tho you’re taking this fake dating to extremes and i quite like it but shut up i hate you why is your hand on my knee when they’re not around we’re just pretending ??
how about a “our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and didn’t tell us it was a blind date, so instead of getting to know each other we spent the entire ‘date’ scheming against them and decided an awesome way to get back at them would be to pretend to date and then have a horrendous breakup but now that we’re two months into this charade we’re not sure what’s real and what’s fake anymore” au
pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
pretending to date bc reasons AU
'did you and your obvious friend just fake propose to get a free meal' au
our families loathe each other because we’re competing for the best pizza restaurant title and now they asked us to get close to each other to steal the opposing family’s secret. but the thing was that we’ve been together for months so we fake a fake relationship and give our family false information au.
Geeky
"I don’t know you but we’re cosplaying a well known duo and people keep asking us for pictures" au
"accidentally started doing the ‘prepare for trouble’ ‘make it double’ Team Rocket motto together while waiting in a long line for something or other" AU
“You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face” au.
“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
‘you have merchandise of my favourite anime let’s be friends (or something more because really, you’re hot)’ au
"I have this funny idea for a skit and we need your character want to join?" au
"i knew you in high school and i ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia"
"I was actually screaming and moaning over a fictional death, but you thought it was sexual screaming and you came over to tell me to shut up." AU
"met while helping a small lost child find their parents at ComiCon because we were dressed as their favorite characters and they trusted us" AU
"Oh god my cosplay is malfunctioning do you have a hot glue gun I can use? Maybe a needle?" au
"You’re cosplaying my favorite character can I have a picture or five" au
"You’re doing a dorky dance to ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’ and it’s giving me second hand embarrassment but I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you" au
“we meet in a bookstore holding the same book and we get into a really heated fight over a character” au
met at a card game competition AU
met at a con where we accidentally cosplayed the fandom otp PLOT TWIST it’s our notp but god damn I wouldn’t mind making out with you AU
I don’t know if you know this but I can hear you singing anime theme songs in the shower every morning and I like almost all the shows you watch.
you would look really hot cosplaying that one character who just so happens to be shipped with mine au
it started as one game of ddr in a games acarde/convention and turned into a two hour long battle and i wont let you wiN
at a con and we’re the other halves of our otps AU
'You were dragged into my video game competition and I was beat for the first time in years I have to stalk you and beg you to play me until I can beat you' AU
'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It's time to pay up.' au
'We really should not have played Monopoly' au
"That asshole stole my song at karaoke night" au
beat the shit out of each other on an online game
Both got roped into working a renaissance fair for the summer AU
Character performers who only see each other at ren faires AU
don’t really care if I win that giant stuffed animal but keep playing the carnival game you’re running just to see you AU
dungeons and dragons au
Fighting over the last key blade in the merchandise hall au
humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
Holy shit I thought I was the only one with this weird-ass hobby AU
how about a “that halloween party was mildly boring so i wandered across the back alley to your place instead because you were trying to start a bonfire but sucked at it, so i lit it for you and ended up staying for three hours even though i was the only one wearing a costume” au
i hit you in the balls in a paintball match i’m so sorry oh my god au
I over heard you make that obscure reference and I accidentally laughed au
Arranged Marriage
"We didn’t meet until the wedding so we’re going to wait to consummate the marriage until we fall in love and are ready" au
"We fell in love, so how can we convince our parents that an arranged marriage between us would be a politically good idea?" au
"We’re both about to enter into separate arranged marriages, but we’re madly in love and I’m pretty sure our future spouses are hooking up too" au
"We’re trying to arrange a marriage between our children but oh shit I think I’m falling for you" au
Intoxication
'i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that's why you're here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger's backyard in the middle of the night' au
'I was 100% sure I climbed into the back seat of my car and fell asleep last night because I was too drunk to drive but when I woke up I realized that this is nothing like my car and oh yeah a stranger is driving how did they not see me' AU
'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn't either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us' au
'you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you're really hot so i just went with it and now we're heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you' au
'you're so attractive but every time you open your mouth i want to strangle you how did you end up in my bed exactly how many tequila shots did i have last night' au
‘we both came to this bar to get drunk and forget our problems but wow that’s expensive, wanna share?’ au
"we’re drunk and we were trying to paint but now we’re just throwing paint at each other" au
"you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)"
“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
“You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
Answered your call for a pick-up from a drunken party even though you’re my brother’s friend and I’ve only met you once because it sounded like you really needed to get out of there AU
i may have been drunk and i may have fallen on top of you in the middle of a concert but thanks for helping me get cleaned up
i’m somewhere past drunk and decidedly lost and you’re a kindly local on a nighttime outing au
let’s get drunk and bond over how much we both hate working here au
my wannabe indie rock band plays a gig and you’re drunk as fuck dancing in front of me au.
you are definitely drunk-texting the wrong number but I’m bored so I’m gonna keep this going for a while AU
you came home too drunk last night to find your room so you crashed in my bed oh
Soberly babysitting drunken friends at a party AU
we’re superheroes that got drunk last night oh god what’d we do au
Crime
Chauffeur for a mafia hitman/woman AU
'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don't want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don't want to go to jail and also you're kind of cute we should make out when i'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life' au
‘Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
"are we both robbing the same house oh fuck" AU
"I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away i’ll repay you in sexual favours and also cash" au
"I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen" AU
"I’m sorry but I was told to punch you in the face. I don’t know why but they’re giving me 20$ to do this. If you can make a better offer I won’t do it tho." AU
"My car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I’ve run out of battery power on my phone. What’s worse is that some stranger is starting to intimidate me, until you turn up and we take them out together."
"you have no money and tried to rob me" au
“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
“You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
arrested at the same protest AU
character a is on the run and character b finds them asleep in their garage/apartment lobby/backyard
didn’t mean to get you arrested, I thought I was helping AU
i run a coffee shop you frequent and i’m secretly an assassin but one day my contract is you AU
ghost + ghost hunter au
ghost/reincarnated lover au
at zombie camp when the zombie apocalypse happens so we are actually prepared au
being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU
you’re a college professor on folklore and i’m an obscure magical creature AU
I bought this talisman from your occult shop and I know you warned me but I didn’t think this stuff was real but it IS and now I need you to make it go away AU/
you’re a devil and i’m an angel AU
you’re a fictional character that came from a dystopia novel au
you’re a ghost and i’m a human and somehow we fall in love with each other AU
you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au
you’re an immortal who keeps making history and guess what my best subject is au
nothing but a fragment of ones imagination AU (as in a coma & they imagine each other being real)
they captured you and put me in your room because i can suppress other people’s powers so you hate me but i’m lonely and bored and want to talk to you AU
sentient robot/ awkward mechanic au
“I’m sorry I’m a Sphinx so all my answers to questions are in the form of riddles.”
“My dragon friend/lover is sick and every time they sneeze they burn something so I have to sit next to them with a fire extinguisher”
“So you’re the water spirit who lives above me and is constantly dripping water onto my bed!”
'did you seriously just fuck around with dark magic and then come to me for help' au
'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it's haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?' au
'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I'm freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don't get a lot of time together but fuck no please don't leave me not yet no.’ au
'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can't believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.' au
"Found a weird stick. Turns out it’s a wand.I’ve accidentally turned myself into a cat and you’re a wizard school dropout who has no idea how to fix this." AU
"I think I just saw a ghost but I’m not sure, it could’ve been my reflection, but I feel utterly disturbed and suddenly the doorbell rings and you deliver the pizza I forgot I ordered half an hour ago."
"I thought you were a ghost for the past 4 months." AU
"I’m home alone in my apartment and hear something that creeps me out. Before my panic can get out of hand I decide to knock on the neighbour’s door. You open up and look at me wide-eyed, asking if I heard it too."
"You rubbed my lamp, I am your genie but I kinda suck at using my magic so bear with me here" AU
“Found an Ouija board and started accidently talking with my hot/cute ghost neighbor.”
“I accidently spilled my fairy dust on your cat and it flew out the window please don’t hate me.”
“I don’t care that you’re a nature spirit this greenery you subconsciously grow is getting out of hand!”
“When I find the fucker switching out my water with holy water I’m kicking their ass to hell and back”
“You’re a werecat and I’m a werewolf but we both really like each other”
A and B are changelings (each replaced the other). In the process of tracing back where they came from as adults, they find each other.
A died a year ago. Determined to haunt the one that killed them, they fought their way back to the house where they used to live as a ghost- only to find that their murderer is gone. B is the new tenant.
A is a dryad attached to the tree that stands in the yard of the house that B grew up in.
A needs to summon a powerful and dangerous demon (or equivalent being). However, just as they are saying the last of the incantation, they cough on the smoke in the room, and mispronounce the name. B appears before them instead.
something happens and we somehow land in a universe where we’re married and have children. only that it isn’t a different universe, it was just our future together and it’s .. amazing au.
sometimes i wished i wasn’t a superhero because you’re starting to ask questions that i can’t answer and i’m afraid that it’s just a matter of time before you leave me..and to be honest, i’m starting to feel that you deserve better au.
that witch hexing me into narrating my ever action was supposed to suck but you kinda like it when we have sex au.
superhero school au
mermaid/merman and a person who loves the ocean but can’t swim au
i know it’s the apocalypse but please can we keep this stray dog AU
Single Parent
'I don't like you and you don't like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we've got to act civil and end up falling for each other' au
'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.' au
"our kindergartners think they’re dating so hey there" au
"We’re both single parents and our kids hate each other" AU
"you’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and i fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though i didn’t need it"
"your child got lost and i found them" au
our kids got paired up to do a school project and I meant to just drop mine off at your house but we ended up talking for three hours AU
Soulmate
'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don't end up being the same person. And that's something I had to learn the hard way.' Au
the one where only your soulmate can kill you (can you still be killed by age/disease? who knows!)
the one where the closer you are to them the more aware of them you become, and you find them playing a hot/cold game; for instance, colors get brighter and brighter the closer you are and fade into gray when they’re too far away
the one where the first thing they say to you appears instead
the one where you can straight up talk to them in dreams until/after you find them
the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you touch them
the one where you don’y know your soulmate until you hear them speak, or hear them speak a certain word; your name, for example
the one where you form a telepathic/empathetic link until/after you find them
the one where you get each others’ fingerprints
the one where you get matching marks/symbols/tattoos
the one where you get the name of the person in their handwriting on your body somewhere at a certain age
the one where you only see color once you meet your soulmate (so you don’t know them until you see them), and it goes away when they die
the one where you share extreme physical sensation until/after you find them; if one of you hurts the other one hurts, if one of you is getting lucky the other one gets a little hot and bothered
the one where your marks or words that change depending on what’s going on with your soulmate
the one with the clock that counts down the time until you meet your soulmate
one of those predetermined soulmates au, except i found out we’re supposed to be soulmates and no??????? how could it be you, i hate you au
so apparently my history professor is my soulmate since he just introduced himself with my voice and now he’s asking everyone to say their name one at a time, waiting to hear his own voice au.
School
'for some reason our teacher thought it'd be amazing to go on a field trip and after she went to sleep some jock thought it'd be even more amazing to play truth or dare and now my best friend betrayed me and dared me to make out with you, the person i've been lowkey in love with for a year' au
'I'm hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
'i'm in the library researching for this giant assignment that's 90% of my grade i haven't slept or gotten anything beside coffee in two days i am going to explode in rage if you don't shut the fuck up this SECOND' au
'I'm sitting in on your classes because I want to be a teacher but you realize we live in the same apartment complex and I'm the asshole that plays video games on max volume at one in the morning next door so it's weird' AU
‘we are the only two students in this course for this language but the teacher says it’s okay since we can practice conversation together, help me with pronunciation?’ au
‘we share a class at university and you forgot your notebook under your desk but luckily your phone’s written inside. Ps: your doodles are pretty cool’ au
"Apparently all of our teachers are shipping us because they keep assigning us as partners, so do you wanna, I don’t know, hang out some time?"
"everyone has to take this really hard drawing class freshman year but both of us are photo majors who can’t draw" au
"everyone’s dorm room has a whiteboard wall outside of it and you keep drawing exceptionally rendered dicks on mine" au
"help me come up with a bullshit deeper meaning for this painting because I have nothing and my professor will slam me in critique unless I don’t explain it" au
"hey hey its alumni weekend and everyone else has become freakishly successful after graduation, the fuck."
"hey this is awkward but can you be my nude model for my homework it’s an emergency" au
"I always sleep in too late and have to run to class, and apparently you do too, because we keep, literally, running in to each other, and we really need to stop meeting like this."
"i have a term paper due tomorrow and yours is the only 24 hour cafe with internet."
"i have the keys to the roof of the chem building and you need somewhere to smoke."
"I know we only have like two classes together and barely know each other, but the water’s out on the entire campus, except for this single building, and you’re the only one I know who lives here, so may I borrow your shower?"
"i literally only joined this org because the person handing out fliers was cute, wtf do we even do here?"
"I stress bake at 3am all through finals week, and you got a sweet tooth and are staying up all night anyway, so why won’t you help me eat it?"
"I’m an art student and you’re not just my friend, you’re my favorite model for my pieces, and we’re both waiting for nude modeling to be on the table but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask" AU
"I’m sorry for accidentally creeping you out, one of my professors made me go people watching at the park/mall/etc. so I can write an ethnography and I swear I wasn’t following you on purpose" AU
"its my senior year, and ive created a bucket list of things i want to do before i graduate - one of those things happens to be you."
"let’s go out and do ridiculous shit in public for our performance art class" au
"only students to get detention on the first day of school" au
"oops i accidentally slept with my ta.”
"our mutual friend is in the film directing program at art school/our uni’s art department and they suckered us into being in their shitty low-budget overly pretentious horror flick" AU
"We started this study group because we actually need to study, but now our companions are starting to get suspicious, because we are setting up meetings like every day but somehow we are both getting less and less studying done."
"we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled" au
"were in the same orientation group and we might never see each other again but i still want to do this."
"you moved into my class and you have the same name as a character in the book we’re studying" au
"you overheard me talking smack your piece in the student art show and now you’re defending your artistic choices to me and wow that’s actually a really cool concept" au
"You think you’re the best [something] on campus, well come at me bruh.”
"you work for the campus radio station and keep passively aggressively dedicating songs to me"
"You wouldn’t let me use the library copying machine in peace and somehow our quarreling broke it, so partners in crime?”
your dad’s the teacher and i have to submit a late assignment by delivering it to his house au.
"i work nights and you have an 8am class, so we always end up running into each other at the campus coffee shop."
"Something in my dorm broke and the landlord is trying to fix it, but I have to move temporarily, and you’re the only one on this floor who doesn’t smoke or have scientific epiphanies in the middle of the night, so can I crash at your place for an unknown time?”
hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
Jobs
“I cut your hair every other week and you vent to me because your significant other doesn’t seem to care” au
“I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
“I’m a florist and you put in a huge order so I think you’re getting married or need to apologize to someone, but it turns out that you just like flowers” au
“I’m a relatively new music artist and we ride the same bus and oh my goD ARE YOU LISTENING TO MY ALBUM” au
“I’m an author who just published my first book and you work at a bookstore and recommend my own book to me when I come in” au
"i’ve been breaking my phone on purpose just because you work at the help desk" AU
'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I'm always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I've never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we're actually dating shh]' au
'i called tech support bc netflix won't work and somehow ended up discussing this series for 15 minutes with you do you wanna hang out when your shift ends' au
'I keep purposefully buying the wrong shoe size so that the hot guy who works at the shoe store can keep measuring my feet over and over' AU
'i'm an ikea employee and every day for the last week i've had to ask you to leave the store bc you keep coming in and sleeping in the beds seriously are you homeless or something i can call a shelter' au
'it's my turn to open up the cafe today and you were sleeping under one of the tables when i came in and i don't know what to say so i'm just sweeping awkwardly around you' au
'm scared of the dentist so i brought my best friend along for support but they've been flirting with the dentist for the past fifteen minutes and now i'm third wheeling at my own dentist appointment' au
'You passed out in Disneyland and I've been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??' 'Yes I'm okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?' 'I'm the face character for Peter Pan but that's not important' au
'you're a vet and i'm pleading with you to save my goldfish and you're the first vet i've visited to not ask me if i'm sure i don't want to go and buy another goldfish for three dollars' au
'you're lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i'm the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i'm really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much' au
'You're not a cop you just came from a costume party but I don't know that so when you're going to your room at 11 and night and I'm pacing the hall I stop you because I desperately need you to tell the couple next door to stop having sex so loudly because i can't' AU
'you're on the street corner handing out brochures for something i really honestly couldn't care less about but holy shit i want to run my fingers through your hair so i guess i could fake some interest' au
"constantly trying to one-up each other at our favorite coffee-shop’s every-other-weekly poetry slam" AU
"playing Beatrice and Benedick together in this community theatre production of Much Ado About Nothing, which is hilarious considering our offstage relationship" AU
“you’re a great tattoo artist and I want a tattoo but I’m afraid of needles” au
“you’re wearing the same color shirt as a store employee and I ask you if you could help me find something” au
your shitty record label needs you to get famous and has chosen my radio station to play your crappy song over and over again and/or I’m a lyricist and can help you get famous au
youre a famous rockstar and i snuck backstage just to meet you im your biggest fan (please autograph my arm so i can get it tattooed)
youre getting your first tattoo and im here to support/laugh at you (jesus christ quit squeezing my hand so hard)
Youtube/Vine/Vimeo/video-based social media celebrity AU
chef/ restaurant critic AU
co-stars whose characters date each other on the show AU
commiserating on a night shift at mcdonalds au
competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
con artists AU
forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
how the hell do i keep managing to get you as my cab driver au
"we’re the newest members of the local Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast and get told we have to play Brad and Janet this week/month at the last possible minute" AU
You work at the senior home my parents are staying at au
you write me a bad restaurant review and i force myself into your kitchen so i can cook you my food until you admit it’s good au
You’re a cop and I’m a reporter who needs a story somehow AU
You’re a hot firefighter and I might have pulled the fire alarm on purpose au
you’re a hot surfer and i’m an awkward person working at an ice cream stand on the beach AU
you’re an actor in a haunted house and i accidentally punched you in the face when you scared me au
You’re the one person who can do my elaborate stage makeup so every night you spend half an hour in close proximity to my face and I am Distressed au
You’re the only major film critic who hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree with you AU
You’re the prosecutor and I’m the defense attorney on the most ridiculous case either of us have ever heard of and I don’t know about you but I’m not sure how much longer I can be serious about this thing AU
You’re the security guard who walks me out to my car every night after work AU
you’ve been selling flyers in front of our coffee shop for hours and you look kind of frozen and miserable so uh do you want a latte or something
You’ve come into my store every morning asking for ______, seriously what is up AU
auditioning for the same part AU
baking competition au
esteemed rival chefs find each other shamefully buying ramen at 3 in the morning AU
Graffiti artist/ mural painter AU
hey you, over there, what’s your name, i need one for the new character in this book i’m writing and i can’t think of one i like
I accidentally caught the neighbors’ yard(s) on fire while burning leaves and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and clearly thinks I’m an idiot AU
i accidentally feel asleep in the bookstore you work in cause i read so much au
i do stupid shit and you’re my doctor au
I heard you playing the piano late night at the bar I work at and can’t get your voice out of my head AU
Apartment
The only 2 people doing laundry at 2 am
"you can’t afford a game so you play the demo in the game shop" au
'Every night I go down to the lobby vending machines I smell the best cooking ever coming from your apartment and it's 12 pm but I'm really hungry and the vending machines aren't cutting it for me' AU
'Everyday I hear you curse at your computer next door lucky I can help you so I barge in and decide to put and end to this but I also see all the porn you watch' AU
All of our other neighbors are crazy so we bond over that fact that we’re the only normal people on the whole street AU
“My roommate is having a scientific epiphany right now, so can I crash at your place tonight?”
'I can't pass stray animals so once a week you see me going into my apartment with a different animal before I find them a home and you decide you want one' AU
'i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we're eighteen floors up' au
'I totally wasn't breaking into your apartment I locked myself out of mine and I'm directly above yours so I picked your lock and was gonna use the fire escape and climb in through my window' AU
'My roommate has a 'friend' over and I couldn't sleep in my apartment and you find me curled up with a pillow beside the lobby vending machines' AU
'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they're p hot but it's v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.' au
'Who keeps using my wifi?' 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.' au
'You see me climbing onto the ledge of my window on the forth floor and immediately go to stop me from doing something stupid but oops actually my internet company is messing up and this is the only place my wifi works i'm not afraid of heights do you need to lie down you look sick' AU
"Could you please move your bed a little further from the wall I’m trying to work" au
"I moved into the appartment next door and it’s 100% haunted please let me crash here for the night" au
"my roommate is doing push ups on the floor and i’m not sure whether to be turned on by their athletic powers or freaked out"
"No, we can not put that on our Christmas tree that is immoral” au
"Our Christmas tree caught on fire because you decided to tinker with the decorations. What the hell did you do to our poor lights?" au
"Our first Christmas sharing an apartment and we keep arguing over the decorations" au
"the obligatory my roommate is super cute and i’m crushing on them au."
"the obligatory my roommate is trash and leaves me locked out, but thankfully youre a decent person so i’m not alone"
"This is the tenth time this week we’ve had a fire alarm go of but uh… this time it was my fault" AU
"wait so you’re saying you still live in a college town even though you graduated years ago?"
3am and the fire alarm in our apartment complex just went off let me lend you my jacket while we wait on the sidewalk
"Quick! It’s an emergency! My train leaves in two hours and I accidentally played Mario Cart all day and forgot to wrap all of my Christmas gifts. And I know you got wrapping paper in here.”
Every time you cook you set off the smoke alarm so you know what I’m just going to teach you how to cook.
everyone else in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu, and I just heard you coughing pathetically from the next room, wanna share my stash of cough drops and marathon Netflix with me? AU
hi sorry I live below you and I hear your dog running around and barking all the time and— no no it’s fine I was just hoping maybe I could pet it? au
I keep walking in on you making out with my roommate and I’m uncomfortably into both of you au
Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU
"i left my window open and you heard me singing" au
you started banging at my door loudly at 3 am bc you got the wrong apartment and now i’m inviting you in for tea to bitch about the person you thought lived here
From Afar/Over Internet
Asked a random stranger for love advice AU
Accidentally called a phone sex line but you picked up and I didn’t recognize your voice AU
'i called one of the telephone numbers written in the toilet stall and now i want to fuck your voice' au
'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you're hot and I'm thirsty but now I've developed actual feelings for you bc you're a genuinely good person' au
'my parents are rly religious and forced me to this meeting i hate everything the entire world is against me what the actual fuck did a stranger just sent me nudes' au
'i'm rly hungover and i rly rly need some takeout right now but oh god i called the wrong number and your voice is rly attractive do you wanna come over with a pizza' au
‘i called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now youre invested in my life troubles’ au
"I thought I could handle watching this horror movie on my own, but it turns out I really can’t and need someone to talk to, but my best friend is sleeping and you seemed friendly enough when you gave me your number yesterday."
'i can't cook for shit and my mother keeps telling me i'll never become anything if i can't even make a proper meal and i somehow stumbled upon your food blog and it has now saved me so many times i just wanted to let you know about my gratitude in this oddly long, ridiculously personal email' au
"your email address is one letter different from my friend’s so i keep emailing you by mistake" AU
“I sent a selfie of myself in the tub to the wrong number and you responded back with another selfie. Holy shit you’re really attractive.” au.
i called the wrong number but we struck up a deep conversation au
'Shit I sent that I like you text to the wrong person and you said I like you too' AU
•soundcloud au
called the wrong number and confessed my love to you in a sappy way before you could get a word in au
Got into an absurdly heated argument in the comments on a mutual friend’s Facebook post AU
Transport
'i'm drunk on public transport and you're high and we both keep looking at each other knowingly' au
'um excuse me but would you mind turning down your music a little bit we're in a bus oh shit you're really cute' au
'Who knew this train ride was go/ing to turn into Murder on the Orient Express?’ AU (alternatively: who knew this plane ride was going to turn into Non-Stop?)
"i’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and im carrying you down a ladder as you compliment me on my muscles "
"we both missed the bus" au
Got on the wrong train, ended up in a town unknown, mind showing me around, attractive local? AU
I just quit my job and put all my belongings in a U-Haul and started driving, you’re the hitchhiker I picked up on a whim who I’m starting to think is a dangerous fugitive AU
Pretending
'I don't really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you've already turned him down, so I'll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend until they leave you alone.' au
'i'm pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u' AU
'Okay okay okay I know we're just friends and I don't want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we're dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister's wedding as my plus one so my mom won't know I lied?' au
we hate each other but our parents are friends and set us up on a date and we’re messing with them so they’ll lay off tho you’re taking this fake dating to extremes and i quite like it but shut up i hate you why is your hand on my knee when they’re not around we’re just pretending ??
how about a “our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and didn’t tell us it was a blind date, so instead of getting to know each other we spent the entire ‘date’ scheming against them and decided an awesome way to get back at them would be to pretend to date and then have a horrendous breakup but now that we’re two months into this charade we’re not sure what’s real and what’s fake anymore” au
pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
pretending to date bc reasons AU
'did you and your obvious friend just fake propose to get a free meal' au
our families loathe each other because we’re competing for the best pizza restaurant title and now they asked us to get close to each other to steal the opposing family’s secret. but the thing was that we’ve been together for months so we fake a fake relationship and give our family false information au.
Geeky
"I don’t know you but we’re cosplaying a well known duo and people keep asking us for pictures" au
"accidentally started doing the ‘prepare for trouble’ ‘make it double’ Team Rocket motto together while waiting in a long line for something or other" AU
“You just caught me reading hardcore smut fan fiction during class and you’re wondering how I can read this with a blank face” au.
“You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
‘you have merchandise of my favourite anime let’s be friends (or something more because really, you’re hot)’ au
"I have this funny idea for a skit and we need your character want to join?" au
"i knew you in high school and i ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia"
"I was actually screaming and moaning over a fictional death, but you thought it was sexual screaming and you came over to tell me to shut up." AU
"met while helping a small lost child find their parents at ComiCon because we were dressed as their favorite characters and they trusted us" AU
"Oh god my cosplay is malfunctioning do you have a hot glue gun I can use? Maybe a needle?" au
"You’re cosplaying my favorite character can I have a picture or five" au
"You’re doing a dorky dance to ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’ and it’s giving me second hand embarrassment but I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you" au
“we meet in a bookstore holding the same book and we get into a really heated fight over a character” au
met at a card game competition AU
met at a con where we accidentally cosplayed the fandom otp PLOT TWIST it’s our notp but god damn I wouldn’t mind making out with you AU
I don’t know if you know this but I can hear you singing anime theme songs in the shower every morning and I like almost all the shows you watch.
you would look really hot cosplaying that one character who just so happens to be shipped with mine au
it started as one game of ddr in a games acarde/convention and turned into a two hour long battle and i wont let you wiN
at a con and we’re the other halves of our otps AU
'You were dragged into my video game competition and I was beat for the first time in years I have to stalk you and beg you to play me until I can beat you' AU
'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It's time to pay up.' au
'We really should not have played Monopoly' au
"That asshole stole my song at karaoke night" au
beat the shit out of each other on an online game
Both got roped into working a renaissance fair for the summer AU
Character performers who only see each other at ren faires AU
don’t really care if I win that giant stuffed animal but keep playing the carnival game you’re running just to see you AU
dungeons and dragons au
Fighting over the last key blade in the merchandise hall au
humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
Holy shit I thought I was the only one with this weird-ass hobby AU
how about a “that halloween party was mildly boring so i wandered across the back alley to your place instead because you were trying to start a bonfire but sucked at it, so i lit it for you and ended up staying for three hours even though i was the only one wearing a costume” au
i hit you in the balls in a paintball match i’m so sorry oh my god au
I over heard you make that obscure reference and I accidentally laughed au
Arranged Marriage
"We didn’t meet until the wedding so we’re going to wait to consummate the marriage until we fall in love and are ready" au
"We fell in love, so how can we convince our parents that an arranged marriage between us would be a politically good idea?" au
"We’re both about to enter into separate arranged marriages, but we’re madly in love and I’m pretty sure our future spouses are hooking up too" au
"We’re trying to arrange a marriage between our children but oh shit I think I’m falling for you" au
Intoxication
'i met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that's why you're here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger's backyard in the middle of the night' au
'I was 100% sure I climbed into the back seat of my car and fell asleep last night because I was too drunk to drive but when I woke up I realized that this is nothing like my car and oh yeah a stranger is driving how did they not see me' AU
'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn't either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us' au
'you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you're really hot so i just went with it and now we're heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you' au
'you're so attractive but every time you open your mouth i want to strangle you how did you end up in my bed exactly how many tequila shots did i have last night' au
‘we both came to this bar to get drunk and forget our problems but wow that’s expensive, wanna share?’ au
"we’re drunk and we were trying to paint but now we’re just throwing paint at each other" au
"you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)"
“We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
“You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
Answered your call for a pick-up from a drunken party even though you’re my brother’s friend and I’ve only met you once because it sounded like you really needed to get out of there AU
i may have been drunk and i may have fallen on top of you in the middle of a concert but thanks for helping me get cleaned up
i’m somewhere past drunk and decidedly lost and you’re a kindly local on a nighttime outing au
let’s get drunk and bond over how much we both hate working here au
my wannabe indie rock band plays a gig and you’re drunk as fuck dancing in front of me au.
you are definitely drunk-texting the wrong number but I’m bored so I’m gonna keep this going for a while AU
you came home too drunk last night to find your room so you crashed in my bed oh
Soberly babysitting drunken friends at a party AU
we’re superheroes that got drunk last night oh god what’d we do au
Crime
Chauffeur for a mafia hitman/woman AU
'you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don't want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don't want to go to jail and also you're kind of cute we should make out when i'm not clinging onto your window ledge for my life' au
‘Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
"are we both robbing the same house oh fuck" AU
"I may or may not have robbed a bank just now and please help me get away i’ll repay you in sexual favours and also cash" au
"I tried to rescue you from being mugged but instead I got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after having your wallet stolen" AU
"I’m sorry but I was told to punch you in the face. I don’t know why but they’re giving me 20$ to do this. If you can make a better offer I won’t do it tho." AU
"My car broke down in the middle of nowhere and I’ve run out of battery power on my phone. What’s worse is that some stranger is starting to intimidate me, until you turn up and we take them out together."
"you have no money and tried to rob me" au
“I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
“You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
arrested at the same protest AU
character a is on the run and character b finds them asleep in their garage/apartment lobby/backyard
didn’t mean to get you arrested, I thought I was helping AU
i run a coffee shop you frequent and i’m secretly an assassin but one day my contract is you AU
