(no subject)

My hand hurts, my brain hurts, and I don't want to get out of bed. What I do want is to write. But that will kill my ability to function such as it exists. So I can't.

And people need to stop telling me to go to the doctor. I can't, and it's not helping my paranoia.

ETA: Tonight's mantra: Other people's pain does not invalidate my own, even if it's worse. Specifically, other people's pain is no reason to say mine can't affect me and stop trying to move in ways that don't irritate it. Working in ways that account and compensate for my own pain does not make me a bad person or worker.

I do not believe believe any of it but I'm trying.