balsamandash | (no subject) (Reply)

You're viewing

balsamandash's journal
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More

Reload page in style: site light

balsamandash

Distractions don't work, brain is broken. Tried sleep and it didn't do any good. I'm talking about it too much and I'm sorry. I want to write so bad it's a physical pain but I have no focus. I want people so bad my chest is aching but I don't know what to do with them. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I'm sorry I keep being useless. I'm sorry I can't just shut up and deal with my shit. I'm sick of me, I'm sure everyone else is too.

I have to remember how to drag myself out of bed and out of the house without the external motivation of "someone's going to come and talk to me and I'd have to explain why I'm not going" this week, and I'm not sure that's going to work. I just want to quit and I'm not allowed. I want everything to be done. I want to be far, far away from here and I want almost everything about my life to be different. And I'm not allowed to do it fast and I'm paralyzed with fear when I try to do it slowly.

I'm sorry.

From:

Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.

OpenID

Dreamwidth account

If you don't have an account you can create one now.

Subject

HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Formatting type

Message

Profile

The Marquis de All The Knives

February 2020

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29

Most Popular Tags

* things people might want to know - 4 uses
* wishlists - 4 uses
challenges: snowflake - 21 uses
creativity: podfic - 3 uses
creativity: try all the things 2k17 - 2 uses
fandom: fannish desires - 4 uses
fandom: fest letters - 3 uses
fandom: recs - 2 uses
fandom: self-recs - 3 uses
fandom: thoughts and rambles - 3 uses
fandom: vids - 3 uses
filter: creative rambling - 3 uses
games: tabletop - 3 uses
life: a moment of sweetness - 2 uses
life: dear august - 2 uses
life: family - 3 uses
life: i got nothing to say but that's ok - 32 uses
life: old goals - 2 uses
life: sleep is for the weak. i'm so weak - 3 uses
life: what's new and what's old - 41 uses
media: books - 2 uses
media: music - 2 uses
mental: breakdowns - 3 uses
mental: checking in from spoonless city - 44 uses
mental: unraveling the thought threads - 11 uses
physical: fucked right in the ear - 3 uses
playing the meme game - 43 uses
playing the meme game: love meme - 8 uses
playing the meme game: music meme - 9 uses
signal boosts - 1 use
strex escapee: 10ft attitude & a scream - 6 uses
strex escapee: learning productivity - 2 uses
strex escapee: lists are very useful! - 21 uses
strex escapee: tools and tips - 2 uses
tarot - 6 uses
the architects only drew blanks - 5 uses
work: tarot - 2 uses
work: with mom - 2 uses
writing: babbles - 2 uses
writing: creation games - 12 uses
writing: fic ideas - 3 uses
writing: insecurities - 3 uses
writing: january meme 2017 - 6 uses
writing: misc thoughts - 4 uses
writing: prompt me maybe - 12 uses
writing: snippets and dribblets - 2 uses
writing: so many words so little time - 12 uses
| also at rainbowfic - 2 uses
| fandom: mcu - 3 uses
| world: no child is spared - 2 uses

Style Credit

Base style: Line Up by timeasmymeasure
Theme: Open Roads by timeasmymeasure

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Page generated May. 22nd, 2025 08:29 pm

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios