(no subject)

[balsamandash]

Distractions don't work, brain is broken. Tried sleep and it didn't do any good. I'm talking about it too much and I'm sorry. I want to write so bad it's a physical pain but I have no focus. I want people so bad my chest is aching but I don't know what to do with them. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I'm sorry I keep being useless. I'm sorry I can't just shut up and deal with my shit. I'm sick of me, I'm sure everyone else is too.

I have to remember how to drag myself out of bed and out of the house without the external motivation of "someone's going to come and talk to me and I'd have to explain why I'm not going" this week, and I'm not sure that's going to work. I just want to quit and I'm not allowed. I want everything to be done. I want to be far, far away from here and I want almost everything about my life to be different. And I'm not allowed to do it fast and I'm paralyzed with fear when I try to do it slowly.

I'm sorry.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

*hugs?*

[balsamandash]

<333 *hugs* Thank you.