(no subject)

[balsamandash]

why is it I can't tag, write my polybigbang, or write anything else that's been in my head for weeks now

but I can sit down and pound out 2k of Bucky Barnes learning about the spoon theory in about 90 minutes.

and now I sincerely doubt I can write anything else. the fucking hell, brain.

(we're not talking about the rest of it. I am gonna cry and scream and bite things if I keep thinking about the rest of it, so tonight, I get to Not Think About The Rest Of It. and that's not healthy or what I should be doing, but I also? should not flip my shit in front of my mother while I try to convince her I can handle life out on my own.)

(or maybe I should and she can just give up on me completely and then I can do whatever I want.)

Comments

[silveradept]

I'm inclined to believe that being able to flip your shit at your mother is a sign of maturity and independence.

As for the fiction writing, do what works, and the rest will come?

[balsamandash]

I'm pretty sure my mother will see it as a return to the "anger issues" she thought I had in my teenage years. (I really didn't, I had a serious case of depression and a mother falling apart igniting my nerves, but that's besides the point.) And/or further proof that I am not emotionally stable enough to be on my own, in addition to not being financially stable.

Something like that. I don't even know anymore. I'm working on it. <333

[silveradept]

I think you'll win out in the end. Because intimate people telling you they think you're acting childish are frustrating, but also motivating (in my case, for all the wrong reasons) to get your shit in order.

[bookblather]

Seconding the bit about flipping one's shit at one's mother, and also, write what's coming out. It's always worked for me, and it doesn't make you any less awesome.