midnight blue, I'm far away, so far away from home

[balsamandash]

Thank you for the kind comments on the last entry. We're home now. Brother is doing okay; going to be in a cast for a while and healing for the next couple of months, but okay. I am... here.

I was going to try and do a proper update at some point and explain what happened and the rest of the weekend, but I don't have the brain now and I probably never will. Brains are in short supply and since "relax and enjoy myself for four days and maybe regain some spoons, since I think I'm borrowing against next year's at this point" turned into spending two days living in a fucking hospital, I don't know when I'm going to find a way to get them back.

Sorry, this is not the route this entry was supposed to take. I am trying to focus on the good, because I really just want to scream right now and I can't. But my brother is okay. The campout was nice for the one day I managed to be there. I got to meet an online friend I'd probably not ever get the chance to run into otherwise. I'm not good at not thinking about the rest of it, but I can get better at shutting up. Or maybe just go back to sleep until I can pretend, but I have to be up for work on Wednesday and it'd probably take longer than that.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

*hugs?*

[balsamandash]

*lots of hugs <3*

[shipwreck_light]

You do what you need to do. You had a huge trauma over the weekend! Decompressing is normal and yes, we do all very much hope that you and your brother are well.

[balsamandash]

<33333 Brother really is fine, at least. I mean, he's hurting, but he's got medication, he's comfortable in bed, and he doesn't even have to skip his acting classes this summer because they're wheelchair-friendly. He's kinda getting restless in bed, but he's okay, which is... really good.

Everything else less so, and my brain can't settle on whether this means the hospital stuff is over or this proves me right that everyone's heath is going to fall apart and someone else is coming next, but. Yeah.