i'm building a body where our design has failed

I am once again behind on both days and comments, so today is catch up. Doing things around taking care of offline stuff, which is why the separate posts, more than any worry of length.

Day 8: In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much.

I've mentioned before that while I love the show Sanctuary, I'm really in it for The Five Show, and not for the modern-day team (though I do love Henry). Then the show went ahead and actually gave me a proper episode of The Five Show.

Normandy is basically my happy place.

( Some rambling attempts at explanation below the cut. )

Were I a person with money to spare, I could be realizing my dream of actual Fox and the Hound merchandise right now.

As it is, I'm just gonna stare at this and this and make sad wanting noises. I could be cuddling my favorite Disney movie by next week. Dammit, money.

(THERE ARE ALSO PEGASUS PLUSHES. I have wanted to cuddle all three of these for years. Why couldn't Disney have finally caved in and produced these things like ten years ago when I could have gotten them as souvenirs.)

Brain is still off-kilter but I really don't want to miss participating in Snowflake this year. Hoping I can actually make it to the end for once even! So here's the last two days and I will try and do day 3 tonight or tomorrow. (I like reccing shit anyway so day 3 excites me enough to probably go back to it. XD)



Day 1: In your own space, talk about why you're participating in Snowflake and, if you’ve participated in the past, how the challenge has affected you. What drew you to it? What did you take away from it? What do you hope to accomplish this year?

( Brief, but to keep this post from getting ridiculously long. )

Day 2: In your own space, share a favorite memory about fandom: the first time you got into fandom, the last time a fanwork touched your heart, crazy times with fellow fans (whether on-line or off-line), a lovely comment you’ve received or have left for someone.

( Things! )

So, things have been less-than-great lately on the whole, but I had a pretty good Solstice -- we did an overnight thing at the UU church in Orlando, there were fires and food and Pagan rewrites of carols and it was neat -- and I'm hoping the rest of the month goes... eh, decently, at least? Tonight we have family things with rootsofthestories' family, and then tomorrow my family is wandering Downtown Disney. Then I'm hoping for productivity, but I have more doctors on the 29th, so we'll see how much I get done in the two and a half days I have.

I am so tired of the doctors. But here we are.

Anyway, I vaguely want to do things, but it's 6 am and chances are we're only going to have about 5 hours tomorrow morning between getting home from Christmas Eve and having to wake up for Disney, so I'm trying to tell myself not to get absorbed in anything and to go to bed soon.

Aaand I don't know what else. I have not been around and talking to people lately, but I'm starting to feel antsy and wanting people, so I'm trying very hard to stop being a hermit. I really want to write Fandom Stocking things before the deadline, but my writing is still so sporadic and difficult to get out that I'm not sure it's happening. Especially with a lengthening list of real life things I need to get done as well.

I... thought I had more to say, but I don't seem to. I have no idea what I'm going to go do now besides resist the urge to eat everything in the kitchen, but off I go to do it.

Things have been not great mentally this month, and I feel like I've been fucked up physically all month, but I'm not actually sure if I'm imagining that and it's just started in the last week or so. That said, everything is awful and gross.

( menstruation talk )

Anyway, besides that, Thanksgiving was not bad; we did things super lowkey, but there was delicious food, the boys and I played an interesting strategy game, and then my mother and I watched movies. Finally saw La La Land, which was... awkward and not very good but had some nice music even if I didn't really like the lead male's singing voice very much; and Fantastic Beasts, which I surprised myself entirely by loving and immediately diving into fic for. Dammit, Harry Potter, I guess I can never really leave you behind. (And then I had a minor breakdown and rewatched the Royal Tenenbaums, which are not necessarily connected except by a desire to watch things that hurt.)

I'm feeling kind of lonely and disconnected, and all I want to do is play games with people, which is... kind of impossible. Or play games myself, which is slightly doable, but my steam account disconnected and since I mostly played games off Bast's and my brother's accounts, I have lost basically every game I want to play right now. And that's about it; I spent most of today horizontal because of pain, and because pain made it that I didn't fall asleep til almost noon so I slept all day. I have no idea what I'm doing now, so far as sleeping, or going home, or what I'm doing if I'm awake all morning. What I want to do is either play games or watch movies that will probably get under my skin, but I'm trying to resist the second one.

Anyway. That's all I've got. I owe two (I think) people readings who I owe major, major apologies to, and I'm going to try and do that this week once I get home. There are a million other things I need to do, but they really have no bearing on anything. And I don't really have much else worth saying (not that... the rest of this really was or anything).

So I just impulse signed up for mini_wrimo for 100 words a day. I have fic that I wanted to work on in November for an informal NaNo anyway, so. We'll see how it goes?


10. A song that makes you sad

The Ship in Port - Radical Face
You said the ship in port is the safer one/But it's not the reason it was made/So forgive me if I wander off/And forgive me more if I just stay

Most of the songs I can think of that make me sad are songs I overidentify with for no good reason, so let's just skip straight to the one that I horribly overidentify with for very very good reasons. Also, Radical Face is good at making me cry just in general sometimes, whether I identify with the song or not.

( The rest of the meme. )

I will update this through the day rather than making separate posts, unless I actually have something to say about the books. But I've been reading not-nonstop-but-plenty since 8:05 AM, it's 1:45 now, and I am pleased with myself.

( A list of books and some thoughts. )

I am still alive, just kind of trucking along. I will make a proper post soon, maybe later tonight, but right now I'm kind of fixated on this:

I mentioned a friend looking for roommates in California earlier this month. She's still looking, and it's getting bad -- the end of this month means basically be homeless in LA or come back to Florida, and both of those are gonna be really hard on her mental health. So I'm putting out the word again and hoping some kind of miracle comes through.

If anybody is looking for a roommate in the downtown LA/Hollywood/Wilshire area -- or knows somebody looking for, or knows someone who might be looking for, or knows someone who might know someone, or any kind of lead at all -- please, please hit me up and I can get people in touch with her. Or honestly, at this point, if anyone knows somebody in other areas of California willing to house a couch surfer for a month to give her a little more time to look, I can send that to her and maybe she can work things out. She's not good with dogs or cats but other pets are not a problem, and ideally looking to pay around $600/month.
EDIT: After some discussion, if there's anyone in the area of San Diego -- or possibly anything else within about that far from LA (so 2-3 hours, so not all the way up the state but a much larger range than before) -- that might be able to put somebody up for a couple of weeks to a month, that would be really appreciated as well, as it would give her more time to try and look.

Help seriously, greatly appreciated. I'm really worried about how this is going to end up.

I will try and find some words about the past couple of weeks soon, but suffice to say, Ohio was good, my mother's doing a little better, and then we got sick and that knocked me out for a little while.

Anyway, this post has a more important point to make:

My dearest, oldest friend needs a place to live next month, because her current apartment building is awful and her neighbor is worse (and bad for not just her mental health, but her physical health -- he's causing migraines, and she has physical issues that migraines might trigger a relapse of). If anybody is looking for, or knows somebody looking for, a roommate in the downtown LA/Hollywood/Wilshire area, please hit me up and I'll give her info? Can't do dogs or cats, and ideally looking to pay around $600/month.


in other news why do half the people I know not know where they're going to be living at some point in the next six months holy fuck